I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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