Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Randomize
