Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
