He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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