ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
