ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
