TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
