dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
