Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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