If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize