i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
