I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
