Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
