I love black thongs
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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