I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
