who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
