Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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