WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize