Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
it's like iHOP with fire
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
