I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
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My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
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As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
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