i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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