I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
