question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
