i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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