I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
She even gives head with a lisp.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
