Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
