I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
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I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
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Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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