I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
