So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
