you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
