they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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