I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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