I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
