So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
