i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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