first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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