What a fucking waste of an outfit
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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