worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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