I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I'm at about main and main street
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize