I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
