so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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