My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
