Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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