I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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