Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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