i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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