Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize