im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
