LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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