lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
