My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
