I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
