I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
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Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
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He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
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