There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
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