hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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