She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
