Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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