This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
You're like the curious george of whores
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
