I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
