that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Small penises have feelings too.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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