I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize