hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
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