i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
