I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
