i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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