you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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