If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
