In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
my sisters under your porch take her home
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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