she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
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