Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
