i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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