That's intense
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
