it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
