I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
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He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
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Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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